In Which We Are Amused

I saw these advertisements/package directions on a friend's blog and thought they were quite funny...  Enjoy!

Auto repair service.  Free pick up and delivery.  Try us once.  You'll never go anywhere again.  

Stock up and save.  Limit: one.

"Keep away from children." On a bottle of baby lotion.

"Do not use while sleeping." On a hairdryer.

"Do not take if allergic to aspirin."  On a bottle of aspirin.

"Do not light in face.  Do not expose to flame."  On a lighter.

"Some assembly required."  On a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle.

"May be harmful if swallowed."  On a shipment of hammers.

"Instructions: Put on food." On a bottle of ketchup.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand."  In the manual for a chainsaw.

"These earplugs are non-toxic but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe."  On a package of earplugs.

"Warning: may contain nuts."  On a package of peanuts.

"Warning: may cause drowsiness."  On a bottle of sleeping pills.

"This product may cause harm if eaten."  On an aluminum chair.

"Do not turn upside down."  On the bottom of a dessert package.

"Do not iron clothes on body."  On packaging for an iron.

"Contents may catch fire."  On a book of matches.